The Handprints
Spanking Humor

            What were the last words uttered by the girls in the hundreds of spanking images on the HandPrints site, immediately before...

            "Daddeeeee!  I said I was sorry that you had to leave in the middle of your dumb old board meeting to come pick me up at the principal's office.  And I said I was sorry you hafta hire a sitter for three days because I got suspended!  So just shut up, already! Haven't I already been punished enough?

            "It's alright, Lisa.  My father won't notice this bag of M&Ms that I took from the store and didn't pay for.  He-e-e never notices a-a-anything!"

            "You CAN'T spank me!  You aren't ALLOWED ta' spank me!  You're not my real Mommy!  You're just a stupid, mean lady who married my Daddy yesterday!   You're not the boss of me!  No!  Wait! LET GO OF MY WRIST!  NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!"

            "But Mama -- you let  me get my ears pierced!  So, I got a nose ring now!  Big deal!  Sheesh, you're so old-fashioned!  Next thing you know, you'll start using Grandma's hairbrush on me, like you say she used to do when you were my age.  Gawd!  Get over yourself!"

               "Oh yeah?  Well you're wrong!  You can't 'pull down my panties n' spank me if I don't stop sassing you' - because I'm not wearin' any!  So there! Pfffft!"

Revision and colorization by Lone Radish

            "SHHHH!  Lisa!  Kristin!  Jessi!  You all GOTTA stop gigglin' an' stuff!  My Mom is r'lly mad at us!  Remember how she said if she hears one more peep out of our pajama party she's gonna come in here with th' hairbrush and-  <gulp!>  um... HI Mommy!  W-we were just-"

Thanks Toma!

    "Oh!   You mean... those cigarettes... the, uh, ones in my purse! Well, um,  I just have those cigarettes because of a school project, Mom.  I don't smoke them! <cough, cough>."

        "Well... don't look at me!   Why do I always get blamed for everything just 'cuz I'm the only kid in this house?  How should I know how the paddle and both hairbrushes and the cane and all of Daddy's belts got put out with the trash at the same time???"

        "You're mean!  I should have known you'd count how many cookies were in the jar!  You never trust me!  You know what you should give me right now, Mommy?  You should give me an apology!!!"

    "Aw, come off it, Mom!  Don't get all 'young lady' on me!  I'm too mature for that now!  You just can't treat me as if I was a little girl anymore!  So deal with it!"

"<groan> I know you said never to hang upside down at the playground when I'm wearin' a dress... but that was two whole days ago!"

Return to Handprints Stories Page

Heard any good ones lately?  Send them to handprince at hush dot com!