The Night Before
the night before Christmas, and all through
for the audio
creature was stirring, and it wasn't a
way past her bedtime young Stephanie knew
crept to the parlor, St. Nicholas to view
should have been nestled all snug in her
unanswered question would not leave her
true Santa comes Christmas Eve in his
grownups just say that to make
say "Santa's watching! You'd better
get coal in your stocking, not the
presents you crave
don't do your chores well or keep your
good marks in school, if you know what we
every kid's house? All just in one
reindeer must carry him faster than light!
sat on his lap at the mall, it was true.
she'd done it again at the Macy's store,
places at once?! It just didn't make
it was all just a grownup pretense?
what about kids with no chimneys? she
all got presents too when they should have
questions had kept little Stephie awake
she was left with but one course to take:
sneaked from her bedroom, (and broke
out if Santa was made-up to fool
children like her, disobedience to shun
do as they're told to instead of have fun!
Stephanie crawled 'neath the sofa to hide
arose such a clatter - a noise from
she ran to the window and lifted the sash
time to see something fly by in a flash
gasped when she saw. So it really
was Santa, the sleigh, and the eight
HANDPALM! now, HAIRBRUSH! now, SWATTER!
PADDLE! on WILLOWSWITCH, TAWSER and
peak of the roof by the chimneytop climb!
so many bad children! There's so
to the housetop St. Nicholas flew
sleigh full of birch rods and razor
size, shape and thickness of ferule and
with the sole purpose of bare bottom pain.
quick as a wink Stephie turned in surprise
dropped down the chimney before her wide
brushed off the soot, then to Stephanie
lady, you oughtn't to be out of bed!
Sugarplum Dreamland is where you should
knelt, "So come here and get over my
Stephanie now was beginning to rue
moment she'd doubted that Santa was true!
Santa! I'm sorry I disobeyed Mum!
just... wanted to... wait here and... see if you'd... come..."
patted his knee, (Stephie's voice had
don't have all evening!" St. Nicholas
are many more kids I still need to correct
this night's over, to teach them respect!"
Steph slowly approaches her little hand
the seat of her powder pink dropseat
lay 'oer his knee, then heard Santa
time to be spanked, Stephanie, move
did as he'd ordered, with a whimper of
the moment she'd strayed from her bed!
unfastened her drop seat, it fell, and her
saucy bare bottomcheeks came into view.
spoke not a word as he raised his palm
then: SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!
(Stephie started to cry).
Santa continued, in spite of her tears
smack the bare skin of her pinkening rears
Illustration by Pit
on EARTH is this racket!?" Steph's mother
up by the sounds of Steph's bottom on
the doorway she then noticed Santa and
Santa!" then, "Stephanie! You're out
she is," he replied, as Steph cried from
your daughter has been very naughty, it's
he stood Steph back up while she rubbed
her spanked place
glistening tears tumbled down off her face
alot" said her mother "I wonder if
be willing to tell me... what else
did she do?
past year my Stephanie must have done some
behaviors for which her bare bum
escaped the chastisement a little girl
ensure secret naughtiness never succeeds."
response Santa lit up his pipe and then
then he replied, "Just last Tuesday your
the dog for eating up all of the pie
didn't. Stephanie told you a lie!"
was you?" Mum demanded, and turning once
gaze on her daughter (eyes glued to the
ate the meringue pie and blamed Fido, too?
Mummy" sobbed Stephie. (What else
could she do?!)
lady, you're due for some swats on the
implement normally used to brush hair!"
Christmas!" cried St. Nick, and fresh from
a blue box tied with ribbons of red.
you Santa!" said Mummy and pulled off the
pearl inlaid hairbrush, and then began
Stephanie's already-tingling backside
up across dear Mummy's lap as she cried.
Mum felt that Stephie had learned a good
down her hairbrush and with an expression
keen curiosity, wanted to learn
that all my child did in the past
year to earn
session face down over my lap to feel
spanking for things which she tried to
drew on his pipe and blew many smoke rings
told Stephie's mother of numerous things
her daughter had done since the old year's
her Mum's knowledge, requiring correction.
Santa! Don't tell on me!" Stephanie
across her Mum's lap as she rubbed her
Santa continued until all was said
forbidden chocolates eaten in bed
milk money naughtily squandered on treats
how Stephie copies test answers and cheats
school, (where she'd placed a thumbtack on
Phipps, who'd sat down and then jumped in
how Stephie feeds any foods that she hates
under the table from off of her plate)
Fido who gulps it all down with delight
Steph plays with matches to watch them
sat on Mum's lap, Santa then gave away
brightly wrapped package with ribbons so
Holiday, Stephie!" said jolly St. Nick
your year's bad behavior this should do
is it?" the little girl asked, at a loss
Stephie'd unwrapped her new Lochgelly
me show you" said Santa, and sat on the
pulled Steph 'cross his lap and at once
she cried, "OUCH!"
had flicked Stephie's present across her
Santa! It burns with a horrible
by Barb (BJ)
spoke Stephie's mother, "Let ME have a
picked up the tawse, little Stephie cried
spank me again! And please not with
Mummy pulled Stephie back over her lap
proceeded to thoroughly smack that small
of Steph's naughtiness throughout the year
tawse fell poor Stephanie howled from the
Mum whipped her bottom again and again
her every unpunished infraction
Stephie kicked, squirmed, sobbed and
bawled in reaction
last it was over, the tawse set aside
Mummy held Stephanie close while she cried
spanking could never have hurt you as much
just now hurt me," cooed her mother, "so
Steffie to Santa while rubbing her rear
guess I deserve no nice presents
I was such a bad girl it is true
have nothing but coal in my stocking - BOO
said with a smile, "Haven't you paid the
of those times you were naughty, not nice?
saw all the days when you were 'good as
you picked up your legos without being
helped Mum in the kitchen bake pastries
pulled all the bindweeds from her
the times you were quiet when Mummy's head
dishes you washed and the leaves that you
your kind thoughts and kind words for
family and friends,
Christmastide, Stephi, now pay dividends!"
turned to his sack and then reached his
the gaily wrapped implements piled in a
withdrew a green parcel with ribbon so red
puffed on his pipe and to Stephanie, said,
Christmas! A Happier New Year awaits!"
Steph tore off the wrap from her brand new
They're just what I wanted!" cried Steph
know," smiled St. Nick, "Now I bid you
you have to go, Santa?" cried Steph in
hoisted his sack he turned back and said,
night is so short, and all over the land
more little heinies still need to be
and Steph waved goodbye as he wiggled his
then with a whoosh up the chimney
more in his sleigh with a flick of his
eight reindeer took to the sky once again
Steph heard him exclaim as away they did
CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A WARMED
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